Quote: Are you referring to you going out to Get a Life? If so, you give vague answers without giving her details.
this i have understand. My point was, If/when My W start R/M talks, and ask when i will leave and stay at other place (aka separate), or what i am thinking about how we will leave from now on. In the past, after thought conversation (days/week later), and she is calm down, she start asking this, that because i do not discus what i am thinking and what i will do.
It is up to you what you wish to tell her. I don't know where you live and the laws there. My advice is to get legal advice about separation and divorce. Know all your options and where you will stand
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legally.
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quote]Quote: Tell her one time that you will not live in an open M. Tell her one time she is being disrespectful to you and the M when she has private friendships with other men. It is not appropriate. You will not be disrespected by her texting/reading messaging and giving any type of attention to OM.
I already told this, when wrote here for first time. So i think there is not reason to do it again (in the past i have said this many times). So this have to stop, saying something and doing nothing
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I agree, no more just saying words. Do you feel you are in an open marriage b/c of her other men? If you feel she is dishonering your boundary.........what is your next step?
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Quote: Then, the very next time she ignores you and texts or reads his messages........you will need to do some type of action that shows her (but, with no acts of violence) the consequences for disrespecting you. Can you do that? If not, then there is no reason to ever open your mouth, b/c she already has you whipped like a dog.
Unfortunately, i do not have any other option to make consequences, than leave the house for logger time. Other option is to silent treatment her?...Now i respond to her very short and civil, do not pay any affection and/or attention, no cals, no text, not nothing. Just bills, grocery and kids related things.
So, if there are no consequences for her disrespecting you, nothing happens? Nothing changes? What about intimate and private time with her? Are you sleeping in the same bed? (Sorry if you've already told me).
Has your W ever been faced with any type of consequences from inappropriate behavior? What have you don't in previous times to take charge of the family........like a strong leader? Do they see you as their leader? How does she see you in the bedroom? Does she see you as strong, sexual, dominant male? I suppose I am asking very personal question to get a picture on you as a man. In the past, how would you handle this type of situation?
You mentioned the only option you see is leaving the house for a longer period of time. IMHO, that would not be a suffience alternative. What if you knew she would not stop this behavior? What then?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
