Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Yes Sandy, I am still here. You write in the very right moment.
I am scared. ...
Since last time I wrote. ..the things are more of the same. She softened to me, still FB to OM but tray to avoid to be when I am there.
She sow OM two tree times as a client or just for a coffee on her work place.
She say to her GF that we do not have almost any communication when at home, but in reality she is very pleasant with me, I am also normal like. Only thing that can be seen as out of your roles, is that she polity ask to massage her legs and back occasionally. So I do it briefly, it could be seen as temp. Check.

I do not ask her about anything , do other call, only if really must to call. From other hand she Chek me out occasionally, where I am or when will be at home . It happens last week's to have a lot of emergency situation at work, so I was not at home very often.
I did not bring any R or Monday or OM talks, a week a go she was trying to start some talks very calm and polite and ask to talk . From experience I know that she what to see if I am committed, if I show understanding get to her she start nagging and blame game. So this time, I said that I already said what I have to say .-will not live like this any more. Then she start to talk - if I go to live with other woman, this woman will have expectations from me, I will not like it , and tings like this. I said that there is not perfect people. Then she sta really nagging - like how I cheated on her an so on. And she is free now but do not want any man to be with her . And she is not doing nothing wrong.....I had bite my tongue for a while and then leave the bedroom - whent to smoke outside, rhea go back to bed conversation was over.
Except this situation there was not negative interactions, I just keep my self as calm as possible.

So today situation is like this;
OM invite her for coffee at his place on Saturday befoure she go to work ,she said to him she is not at work the he said it could be at Sunday...she do not refuse or agree then they change the topic. She mentioned to her GF that on Sunday she will go coffee with a friend before work. So I expect her to see im....she have to leave home 2 hours earlier and I expect
1. She will inform me she will go or coffee
Or
2. She will tell Me not truth about some client need haircut earlier
Or
3. Something went wrong and coffee will not happened

If she tell she is going for coffee - I will not have any other option but leave, but what to do in other two scenarios?

If I leave how to do it. What to tell to the kids (something like I have a lot of work and will not be at home for month , but we will call each other and see when they wnat, and it is possible?!). If I leave at this point should I cut any financial support, should I tea her car(I steel pay for it) and give her the old one (we never separate our income ).

If I leve, what to tell her, should I explain something, or pack my clothes and leave. If I leave when to do it. She will be at work until 9pm. I can not leave the kids like this, if I wait to her be at home - what to say ...what to discuss.

I am scared about the kids how this will affect them, how to cut support to her without affecting the kids.
Peace Sandy guide me, any others opinion will be much appreciated.
Tomorrow we will have marital art together, I will play calm and collected with positive vibe, but what/how to do on Sunday.

The relationship with OM do not have future. My WW is in limerance, OM fill his free time with my WW occasionally. For now I do not have any evidence that he want something more frome her (may be just sex wit 12 years older woman ), but do not have any proofs.

I will check often for your respond.
Thanks being whit me