This is all very interesting stuff, but I think I might have an unpopular take on this, but I think what she did in this session showed some actual true commitment. She gave you complete transparency into her feelings about everything. She communicated honestly and directly, even if you didn't want to hear it.
She told you she doesn't contact OM, but thinks about him sometimes, but won't do anything about it. I have a spot in my heart for anyone I have ever had feelings for. My mind occasionaly thinks about some good times and I miss them. This doesn't mean that I am going back to them, I want to go back to them, or I am not happy with what I currently have. it's just memories of a time that felt good. And when things get kind of cra**y, we go back to those times in our head sometimes. What she does with those thoughts are the real deal breaker.
Also, in the same breath that you feel like she is sweeping the A under the rug, she feels like you are sweeping the lack of intimacy under the rug and how the M was that lead her to where she was. You aren't to blame for her A, that's her responsibility, but I think both areas deserve an equal amount of focus. They are both acknowledged, but in her mind she feels like the underlying problem needs to be addressed more rather than the A, and I would have to say I would have to agree with her.
Take a fever for an example. You can give Tylenol to keep breaking it, but you need to find the underlying cause to remedy that so it doesn't come back (I am nurse, so please excuse me, but this always rang with me).
Take the lead with the ring. Don't do an "if I do it, will you do it" thing. Here, be dominant, put a ring back on and see how she follows. Again, your positive action might be met with a return positive action.
