A quick question. Why did she go and sign the lease?
Has anything changed with her situation since this whole episode started? I understand only too well your confusion and how counter-intuitive DR is but it primarily comes down to looking after you and your children first.
The key thing IMO is that we can’t control our WS, when they are in an EA or PA the blinkers go on and it’s all about them, is she making these remarks because it’s affecting you or your kids? No your actions are only affecting how she feels, right... When you have contact there’s nothing wrong IMO in being civil with her, being happy and confident are the ingredients that show her Kilo is okay with or without W
I personally if hearing this would think “cake eating” or “pity party”, her actions are slowly showing her that her life isn’t so great and what she had wasn’t that bad after all!
Kilo – you need to understand that she has the work to do here, she has to come back to you because she wants to. Again I feel these boards can be of immense value to people who are just starting out in their situation BUT caution needs to be adopted too, remember with a wayward common sense goes out of the window.
Don’t get me wrong look back at your MR and see where you fell down and work at changing this through actions NOT words " It really hurt me that when I told him I was leaving to sign a lease, he seemed unaffected, like it didn't bother him” < was this an issue in your MR?
My WW couldn’t wait for me to get out the door as this left the way clear for her to carry on her A unabated in the family home.
It’s really tough when separated but work your side of the street DR and look after the kids, “be the best you you can be”.
Stay the course.
Mark.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
