Thanks Gordie, that sounds like good advice, and we do have more rooms available this time, but i honestly don't know yet what will happen. If it is like at home, then i sometimes sleep in another room and sometimes in our main bedroom. This happens mainly when she feels very lonely and asks me to be there (nothing sexual) to sleep better... I haven't agreed to that for a long time but recently i kinda softened up and agreed. I guess i will file that under "kind/loving but detached" ugh.
The thing with the long term thing is that i have always been a guy that wanted to know where things were headed, planning EVERYTHING in advance and only taking on battles i knew i could win. Well i guess that attitude doesn't serve me all that well with things to come here so i will try and focus on one day at a time for now.
