It feels strange, like a reminder of a previous life cutting through into my life now.
Maybe that's what WW's and WAS's feel too? They're so into their new life that it's really uncomfortable when there's some sort of reminder of their past life? Then multiply that feeling a good few times for the guilt and shame and the deep down feeling that they've behaved so badly to their S's. But who knows...maybe they don't feel any guilt or shame?
Strong? I don't feel like I have a choice. I'm self employed and the first year after he had left I made a big loss. I'm still trying to recover from that and rebuild my business. And not only, but go further with it as well, and make it stronger and more substantial. Hence me signing up for this latest business thing...
I remember that 10 days after he had left, in October 2015, I was at a business thing, all set to go, just waiting for the time it officially started, and with 20 minutes to go he texted me to say he thought we should separate. I kid you not...15 years of marriage and I get a text! Anyway, I spent half the business thing in a state of shock, just starting into space. I practically hadn't eaten for almost two weeks (I was maybe managing a couple of hundred calories a day) and hadn't slept for more than four hours a night. I had paid for this business thing, and I ended up not being able to take advantage of it as I should have been able to, and probably lost money from it too (I'm just working on some business stats to work out how much).
So I don't want that to happen again, any of it. So it feels like being strong is my only option.
