Adjusting to being a LBS #2

[Subitai]

Hey guys, just checking in. Things are not progressing. No move to file, still separated. Wife still seems unhappy and gets angry at me easily if I don't answer questions directly. (I have a tendency to try and read meaning behind questions and give qualified answers). Kids still sad. I'm still in love with my wife. She hasn't told me ILY in weeks now, (Since the "I don't feel that way about you anymore" M conversation at the MC 2.5 weeks ago) and she used to say it every couple of days.

It feels like the foundations are crumbling.

However, we've got a new communication tool we're using to document kid related stuff. I took care of the S when he was sick one day for her, and she's been thanking me for all the things that I have done to make things easier. I feel like I should be paying attention to anything she does for me and thank her for them, and I have been.

She doesn't like to look at me, or talk to me when we're face to face right now. All playful flirtiness I discussed previously has dried up for now. More anger and sadness instead.

I am focusing on my IC, which is still going well, even if it's in baby-step beginning stuff. Kid stuff is better, but not perfect.

Valentine's day is on my week, thinking about asking her if she wants to do anything with the kids. She has invited me to several things with the kids, but has turned down reciprocal invitations last week.

I do not have anything for her for V-Day. Thinking of getting a card and only giving it to her if she gives me one.

Things are rough for her right now outside of our R, which may be impacting her and why she has been colder and more standoffish.

I'm still hitting the gym, hanging out with friends, reading more, etc. I'm actually pretty comfy in the studio we found. W hates it, though. She actually crashed at a friend's house (married couple) for several days on her week there.

I've noticed I'm having a hard time staying asleep. I go to sleep, and 3-4 hours later, I wake up with the M on my mind. I then tend to wake up every hour for the rest of the night, with vivid dreams that veer back into the M.

Anyway, that's my update.