Hoping this can be saved, but having doubts

[reframe]

At what point do we say 'enough is enough'?

I know from snooping (I know, I know) that the wife is planning on D, although she hasn't said it to me yet. That she is afraid her resolve will fail and she'll "fall into old habits" or "comfort", and that things will get worse. She hasn't told me and of this though, and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. She has reframed everything (of course) to make me the bad guy.

I also know that objectively, she is treating me terribly. I'm really tempted to say we need to have a conversation, and that I won't continue to be a provider, shoulder, friend, etc.. for someone who is clearly half in and unwilling to put any effort into maintaining a relationship. That she is welcome to try and form a relationship with me moving forward, but in the meanwhile, if she knows she doesn't want to be with me, we need to separate.

Thoughts are welcome. But I'm starting to feel like I'm being a doormat and enabling her to have her cake and eat it too.