This seems like more blame it isn't. Like V once you knew you ceased enabling. Full stop.
That is a different mechanism from personality driven defects. It is situational.
I also think you would not do the same again.
Codependents with personality deficits move from this type of R to the next type of codependent R. Only the face a and the addiction changes. Usually they move on very quickly to the next R. One woman I know codependent I know is on her third gambeer. One is bad luck, two is even worse but three is a choice.
That difficulty is over and it's reactive or situational, don't put yourself in that situation and it won't happen.
The colloquial term for the experience is called gaslighting and there are fake dreams called future faking. It's the addict to calling card.
Here let me mirror, fog and gaslight you. You won't ever not questions again? No,you will trust your gutime and question.
You current process, questioning, seeking to understand is a good one. Very valuable, shows this won't happend again.
All you are responsible for is hiding the truth from yourself, and consequently enabling. Whether deliberate our dysfunctional it still enabled. Enabling doesn't make you an enabler!
That's because the enabling was the result of gaslighting.
You wouldn't blame Ponzy victims for losing their life savings? Would they question their actions? Of course. Would they question querying a good thing? Of course. Would they put all the blame for being involved in a con on themselves? As in I didn't spot it it's my fault. No.
They were still conned. But are they enabling the Ponzy? Yes whilst it is active but not after.
It's gaslighting by the addict or confidence man that caused it.
Are we responsible for the con.....
No. The addict or confidence man is. The difference is that the addict sticks his proceeds into their viens, stomach, casino or OW slots.
Gaslighting is the main issue. There is a lot out there on changing reality by a confidence man. I choose to see myself as a target not a victim.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
