How is it possible that he kept this a secret from everyone?
One of his friends told my friend 10 years ago that he slept all day cause he was up doing coke. She told me this over 10 years ago and i thought his friend was jealous of him and exaggerated recreational use in the past.
His friend had also said that he gets away with everything at work and everyone thinks hes a superstar but he wasnt...something along those lines.
I thought he was this superstar. But we had no money. He wasnt getting raises. He wasnt looking for other jobs.
His mother thinks im the reason he lives with her...that all his money is going to child support. He fools jer like he did me. Always evasive and always an excuse.
I dont understsnd how i was so oblivious!!! So blind. I obviously knew something was off because i was unhappy and we were always fighting. We fought because he was illogical. Our relationship was illogocal and i just fought it instead of ending it. And now i know why it was illogical.
I dont understand how he hid this from me for 15 years. I didnt know the signs. But i knew things were off and felt unfair. And i resented him so much.
When i read about spouses of addicts, they usually know and were enabling.
I fought, but at the same tine i accepted odd behaviors. Why didnt i recognize the abnormality?
What are common factors of being married to an addict?
1. He could not have loved me...just an act. Or a cover? 2. Does he love our son? Is it just a pretense? He did not fight for custody. But does responsibly do the minimum of what is required. 3. He was empty. No real passion about anything.except maybe football?
Does anyone know the effects of being a spouse or child of someone like this?
Are there books for peopke that lived with secret addicts. Not codependents that knew.
Anyone heard of the term dry drunks? I qonder if thats more relatable to me tjen someone sloppy or out of control.
I have never seen my ex sloppy or out of control. I thought he hated alcohol. Im pretty sure pain pills. But have never seen them.
