I went for a run. It was hard work because it was so darn cold out there, so I was catching my breath a bit on the air.
I came home, tidied up a bit, got my things ready for tomorrow, made some dinner and went back to work.
I really knocked it out the park on the work front today, and I'm proud of myself for that.
And I dealt with the surprise like a champ. Not to her face, but the after effects of it.
Purely speculation on my part,but I'm wondering is she was maybe after some sort of 'absolution' from me for what her son had done. I don't know.
What I do know is that XMIL is principled, religious, kind hearted, human. The whole thing, XH's behaviour, what he did, most probably completely shocked her to her very core.
I feel sorry for her. But I'm going to plough my own furrow here and focus on my own life.
I've signed up for this business thing which is happening pretty soon. I've been meaning to do it for years, but the price has always frightened me. It's costing me a serious shed load of money. I have a ton of prep to do, and I need to be on the ball for the next few weeks so that I can do everything that I need to do in time. And I need to be mentally all there when I do it, relaxed and focused. I can't afford not to give it my best shot, for all sorts of reasons.
And I want to feel proud that I've given it my best shot too, that I've believed in myself. This was something that I always had trouble with in my past life. I realise now that lack self belief is costly, in all sorts of ways. And I realise now that I'm not willing to pay that price any more.
If you had known me previously, this would be such a total turn around. I would have been the first person to lend someone a listening ear, even if it meant that I was really uncomfortable or very depleted in the process.
Now I'm thinking that I need and want to use my time and energy for the things that are most important to me. And I'm afraid that XMIL is way at the bottom of the list now.
So I went for a run, made dinner, sorted stuff and went back to work.
