Working on IC for D. I'm supposed to have a callback today or tomorrow. I've been seeing a C for nine months now. She helps and has given me good insight but the biggest issue for me is that there is no stability. I feel like I'm moving from crisis to crisis all the time, rather than just able to stay a damn course. I just want PEACE in my life. I want peace in my little girl's life. I don't want either one of us to have to deal with this constant anxiety.
I talked to L about the phone call issue, and she said as long as I'm encouraging D to call, then I'm doing the right thing. What the hell else can I do here? The hate from XW has me at my breaking point. I'm scared shitless about how D is acting right now. The last time I talked to XW about the kind of stress that D must be under (which is months ago) she told me "she seems fine when she's with me, I don't know what you're talking about." How the hell is there ANYTHING to work with there? I still have to have the "adopted" conversation with D (which is planned for next week, with my C as support). How does THAT go in the middle of all of this?
Quote:
A 7 year old wetting herself during the day should be the equivalent of a fire alarm going off. She feels she has no control over anything but this.
The first time it happened is what prompted me to seriously start looking into IC for D. This is twice now, and yes it's a huge warning sign for me.
...and, as I'm writing this, D's teacher called. She got my note on D's midterm report and she wanted to talk about things rather than writing a note. We talked about where D's problem areas are, and she's going to send home the weekly packets she uses in tier 2 math whenever she starts them on a new one. She says D's focus has gone way down since Christmas, and she regressed a bit from before the break. She says D seems anxious a lot. She also said I was doing a great job, and to keep doing what I was doing. I can't say how much I needed to hear that today. Today has been one of those days where I'm full of doubt and feel like everything I do is the wrong thing. Having someone who spends even more time with D than I do tell me that helped.
I'm going to talk to my C on Friday, and if I get D into IC this week, I will talk to that C as well, and figure out how to get her on some kind of schedule to talk to her mom that both of them can live with.
