Rebuilding my life (ILYBNILWY? IDGAF 2)

[DonH]

A 7 year old wetting herself during the day should be the equivalent of a fire alarm going off. She feels she has no control over anything but this. That in and of itself should really be setting off alarm bells for both parents.

You are in a very difficult situation as you are really dealing with two children here - a seven year old child and a 32 year old child. This is above your ability to deal with. I think the best thing you can do is get professional help. You need to get it for D and then help for you to handle this situation. You want to do the right thing that is clear. You just don't know what that is to the point you are letting a seven year old set the rules. Your ex has major issues of her own and clearly needs help but you have zero control over her. This, sadly, is what happens when we hook ourselves up with crazy people. You can't change that but now will pay the price for years. It's gong to be a struggle and none of us are prepared to deal with situations like this.

If you truly want to do the best for D, get her to a great C and get yourself a professional to show you what to do - and then do it. This situation needs a hero and you TN are the only possible candidate. You can do it but must get help.