At the moment you are letting D set the agenda play mom and dad against each other.
STOP!
Please reread and reread Gingers post. It is amazing advice from a mom with an awful ex who has walked the tightrope.
Don't tell Ex W that her D doesn't want to talk to her, this is making things much much worse.
You have no schedule nor structure for D. And I agree without it that ex W has a point, this isn't good parenting. Agree with D and ex a schedule. Monitor it.
At the moment D never knows when she is going to be pounced on. Like a deer waiting for a lion to strike. If D knows that she should chat to mom at say 5 pm every Monday, Wed and Fri then you and she can prepare for it. Have things D can say, agree it's for 10 mins and no more if that's all D wants. Then it's manageable. At the moment D doesn't have a clue when it is coming. Between you and W there is now a dynamic involving D which is unpleasant. As the stable one of the parents this is going to be you that resolves it.
In my view D should be talking to her mom. This is not unreasonable until the courts say no and issue an order.
Take your D out of the middle of this, your on going battles with her mom are not for D to know. Use a calendar and online wizard.
Take charge of it and get it sorted. Otherwise you will end up with court mandated things you might not like.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
