Firstly can I ask if an OP has been confirmed? I see a possible EA is this still the case..?
Yeah I confronted her one day and she did confirm that she had gotten close to OM emotionally. She apologized for shutting me out, but was transparent from what I could see.
I used to struggling with the above topic. All the negative emotions from realizing the EA. But since reading DB , DR, and talking on here...I don't dwell on it any longer because its only going to drag me down and my DB'ing harder.
I honestly don't think it is still happening. Still work at the same place, and I guess it makes me look ignorant, but I really don't think its anything inappropriate. Also, am I wrong for not caring if it was? I feel like that is only going to hinder me, from being the best possible version of myself and have a PMA.
Quote:
You know not to pursue LET HER DO THIS then when she does (and she will) be smart,
Yeah this is extremely hard. Maybe not pursuing, just initiating small talk. But I am proud to say that I have been doing an excellent job at it.
I saw her this weekend when she came to house to pick up kids. She could have timed it differently, but she showed up like an hour before they came home from the bus. I was doing laundry while watching a movie, so I just continued what I was doing.
I was there, present, but I wasn't initiating topics of conversation. I did ask her how work was at one point, and she went on for about 5 minutes, just venting about normal stuff. It felt good to have that interaction.
I knew she was leaving soon, so I decided that I would leave first because I had some errands to run. She asked if I was leaving and I said yes, as I gathered my keys, jacket etc... and she approached me and put her arms up for a hug. After the normal time you'd hug someone (2-3 seconds ish) I released but she held on tighter. It lasted about 20 seconds maybe. I didn't say anything and she didn't either.
Once that happened, I turned to kiss my D and when started towards the front door, I caught a glimpse of her face and it was read and she was teary eyed.
I don't know what this means... but I am really trying to NOT LOOK INTO IT. I've seen quotes about this from many, so I don't want to get any sort of false hopes, let my guard down, or change my day to day personal game plan.
Of course, non the less it felt great.
After the weekend and on her last of 2 days with them, we realized that one S had left his library book at the house (mine). I told her I'd bring it to her since the kids were already sleeping. I didn't jump at it, and I told her I'd be over there in about an hour.
Once I got there, she invited me in and showed me around since it was my first time there. It felt really weird and wrong seeing some of her\out stuff in a different house. So I made the showing me around short. She pretty much just complained about how it was in a busy neighborhood (we have a lot of land and privacy at our original home). So after just a few minutes inside, she asked if I wanted to smoke a cigarette with her outside. I did, and we just had small talk about kids, work, whatever. There was some flirting and joking around, that were initiated by her and I played it cool. The same way I used to be when we first met and I felt really good about it.
Again when I told her I had to leave, she initiated a hug again, for another good amount of time.
When I saw her today as she dropped our D off on her way to work, it was a quick interaction due to time. She did make a comment to me about her day, which is more of something she would tell me back in the day. So for the past 5-6 days, she has been joking, a little flirty, talkative.
I absolutely see a difference in her, and I since I started DB, living by sandi's rules to the best I can. It's so against me to be short and not available, and be incredibly happy, confident etc...
So I'm not getting false hopes. I'm still very aware of all the negative emotions and sadness that this brings. I am just taking it one day at a time, but it felt good to leave eachother with a smile for a change.
Thanks for the words of confidence, they mean the world to me.
