I get the feeling you're a month or two away from turning into a WAW. I think you have a real chance to turn things around here, but the distance is growing between you and your H. You recognize there are serious issues in your M, for yoursef and your H. That's a good start.
First off, are you in IC? Regardless of where the M goes, you've already identified your own stuff (codependency, fear of being alone) and should start working on that. If you get D'd, these issues will still remain unless you address them.
Tell your H exactly where you stand. Don't sugar coat anything. Tell him you're afraid of the direction your M is headed. Tell him his lying and hiding things is pushing you away. Tell him you've wondered if a separation would be helpful.
Maybe I'm projecting from my own sitch, but I wish my XW had said those things to me when she started down her dark path. But she hid it from me for months, until BD, when it was too late.
Act now while the door is still open.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
