Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 8

[Accuray]

Yikes, I have two reactions to that -- first is that XW's actions were not acceptable, she certainly shouldn't be going into your bedroom for any reason. If your joint website is an "official record" then I would send her a message on that website recapping that she entered your house without your permission and entered your bedroom without invitation, remind her of your agreement and restate that she needs to have your permission to enter the house and should never have cause to enter your bedroom. If she continues to violate your divorce agreement, talk to your lawyer about your options. You may be able to serve her for contempt.

My second reaction is this -- in my state we have to take a parenting class in order to get divorced, it's a hard requirement. At the parenting class, the instructor said that the worst situation for the kids is when the parents have a "threshold ban" and can't or won't cross each others' thresholds. She said that's very damaging to how the kids think about their family and their role in it. Divorced or not, you two are still their family.

Over time, if you can get yourself to the place where XW can enter your house on your sons' invitation (but respect not entering the bedroom) that will be to your sons' benefit. She should be able to come into the foyer, living room, space deemed "common areas" or potentially their bedrooms to help them pack clothes when needed etc.

Obviously it will take time and healing to get there, but it's not a bad goal to have.

Acc