So.... why did you get remarried to this guy? I'm not seeing anything in that post that would lead me to believe he's worth remarrying. Frankly it sounds like the only thing holding your marriage together is your insecurities about not having a H around, which frankly is a very unhealthy reason.
One more thing on this. While we were married the first time, my H was just really lying and hiding a lot. He was looking at porn a lot and being very secretive about his devices so I could not snoop on him (which I had been, which is how I discovered a lot of his lying). He had gotten laid off from his job and was sort of piddling around the house for several months not really looking for a new job. I didn't have as much compassion or empathy as I should have during this time because his behavior was just so "not right" to me (with not looking for a job, not doing anything around the house like chores while he was home all day, looking at porn after I left for work in the morning). I know now he was depressed and just not processing well at the time. He's not really the type of guy to not work - he likes going to work and I'm pretty sure his job defines him. He had really spiraled down into one of his "cocoon-like" states and eventually I just didn't feel like I could take it anymore. That's when I left.
He got a new job around the same time. I started seeing him at church and he seemed to be turning things for good. He seemed genuinely humbled and sorry for his behavior, seemed more open, started volunteering at church. I liked what I saw. He seemed warmer than ever before. We started dating again. He still had hiding tendencies - for instance, and this is a big one, he never invited me to his house. I had my own house and he just always came to mine. I didn't think much of this because I just figured his house was a little messy and I didn't want to be there anyway (he shared the house with his ex previously and I just never felt that comfy there - I had wanted us to get our own house when we got married instead of move into his, and this was one of our issues we had).
Little did I know though his depression or whatever it was had turned into some full-blown coping mechanism in the form of buying and accumulating stuff. I discovered this one time after we got remarried when I went to his house to bring him something and he just stood in the doorway and didn't want me to see inside (we remarried but stayed in separate houses for a while). He later let me in and stuff was just everywhere. You could barely walk - all the floor space was covered with stuff. In his bathroom, you could see green mildew actually growing in a puddle of water in a corner by the bathtub. He wasn't cleaning up at all. He was spending all of his time outside of work and church just buying and accumulating things, never getting rid of anything.
