So.... why did you get remarried to this guy? I'm not seeing anything in that post that would lead me to believe he's worth remarrying. Frankly it sounds like the only thing holding your marriage together is your insecurities about not having a H around, which frankly is a very unhealthy reason.
Yes, it is a very unhealthy reason. I don't know why I have this irrational need.
So, my H has never been a bubbly, warm, open, caring person. He never asks me sincerely how I am or what I want. He typically thinks of himself over others, and I know this, and I don't think it makes him terrible or evil or anything like that. Although I have had more than 1 person question why I am with him because he comes off so cold and apparently I do not. He's fun to be around as long as you're not putting any pressure on him. He's playful. But occasionally what comes off to others as a kind of coldness turns into full-blown arctic and he just wraps himself up with some obsession like a cocoon. This is when it really gets bad for me, because I see lying and hiding going on and it freaks me out, and if I ask him about it he can't open up and I get frustrated on top of already being frustrated at his lack of interest in anything but himself.
Here's the thing though. I recognize I am broken in some serious ways. I want to fix myself. I have made several steps forward over the last couple of years in coming out of some fog I was in, but I still don't feel like I really know my own self or my own feelings. I don't know if it's normal to feel so much resentment like I do. I don't know how to handle that resentment and not just want to walk away or lose it and yell at H. I don't know why I take on so much responsibility and don't expect much from him. I can't even tell if he's just using me and manipulating or if he really does love me and is just messed up too.
