Hi Marina, I already know she’s having an affair, it all came out a few months ago. She left me and the kids for him. The full story is back in part 1 of my thread. My kids live with me now and I’ve started D proceedings. I have no interest in saving my marriage, I will always love her, and maybe never love anyone else as much as her, but my co-dependency on her is broken. I’m happier without her. I miss my family very much and the stable family unit for my kids, I was proud of our marriage and our long relationship. But, it’s not until recently that I realised she has emotionally abused me for years, I wouldn’t go back to that for anything!
As for meeting up with my ex from years ago, there’s no emotion there for me, nothing unresolved, I’ve made sure she understands that I’m not looking for a relationship other than perhaps a friendship. But those are wise words you shared, I should definitely consider that she might see more in it. I’ll have to carefully consider where I take it. Perhaps a meal to show her no hard feelings will help her move forward with her life and I leave it there.
Regarding your own situation, not sure how long it’s been for you. I’ve yo-yo’d between absolutely fine and outright devistated. For me the only thing that has worked is NC. This was easy in the beginning as my W had no interest in talking to me, but she has recently started to circle back as her life is completely ruined, she cries every day and all night when she has my kids. I now need to enforce NC, she doesn’t reach out to reconcile but she started breaking our agreements of dropping the kids at the top of the drive and walking them to my door so I have to see her, emails me for trivial things and is stalling mediation. What I couldn’t understand was the GAL concept, but it seems to have happened naturally for me. I didn’t even realise it until my S said “Dad, you know everyone in the village, how have you made so many friends so fast, you never knew anyone”. All my spare time is full to the brim with spending time with friends or hobbies etc. I’ve got a long long way to go, but I feel a great future is ahead of me with or without a relationship.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, much appreciated!
