And still struggling

[Coconut]

And I don't know if it's petty, but yes, it feels good knowing her house is a dump.

I think this demonstrates, helps us believe, that we weren't the problem, at least not the only one. I imagine that it would be really difficult if they left and then lived a fabulous life. So yeah, maybe it's petty, but it does feel good.

As for seeing signs of positivity and wondering if it's the start of something, I agree that expectations can cause disappointment. After the initial few months after BD, I realized that nothing mattered until major action was taken that showed a change, and I am a firm believer that when they have true remorse, and want to try and make it work, there will be no question. You will know.

Before then, you may just be seeing their reaction to a little sadness, or regret, but not enough that they are committed. We all have good and bad days, even the WAS or WS, you don't want to allow their daily emotions have an impact on you.