Newbie In Need Of Guidance #2

[Accuray]

She's just verbalizing her internal debate. She wants out, she feels guilty about the kids. There's nothing about you in that statement.

Before you confront her about her affair, ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by doing so?

Some people hope for an apology or some kind of show of remorse, I will warn you in advance that you won't get it. What you'll get is denial and anger, and if you come up with hard evidence you'll get even more anger.

You can confront her if you want, but be prepared that the result you'll get is more anger and more distance.

Therefore, before you confront, you have to think about what happens after that? Let's pretend worst case scenario she says "Yes I'm having a sexual affair and I'm going to keep doing it and don't care what you think about it"

Although most WAS don't say that directly, that's what their actions say repeatedly.

What are you going to do or say then?

You can't control her, you can't stop her from doing that if she wants to, and you certainly don't want to be a doormat, so what are you going to do?

Once you answer that question, you may be better served by just skipping to your next step. If you were going to demand she move out, then just start there and skip over the confrontation because the end result will be the same.

Acc