She's being cold because reality isn't matching up to whatever fantasy she had in her head - that she could have OM and also you in her life. Cake eating as we say.
I think what you're doing is good. I know it feels the opposite of what you should do, but you're doing the right things.
Let her face the consequences of her choices from her family and others. Stay out of it as much as you can, even though you may be close to them.
You're on the right track because you are feeling better and starting to heal. Continue this and don't backslide. You are doing great.
Keep your boundaries and keep on your healing journey.
