I do feel comfortable posting here. I've appreciated every 2x4 over the years, the support, the candor, everything. Some days I hate reading what I write. At this point, I wish I was coming on here telling everyone about my wonderful new husband and step children and new house. About how wonderful my post D M is and what I have learned and all that. It just isn't how it's worked out so far. But I do make a promise, I will not disappear when those things happen if they ever do.
The first big dose of steroids felt good and now that I am tapering the pain is returning a bit. However, the steroids also helped me knee! I have been walking like a champ, haha! Although the ex asked why I was still limping yesterday.....
So, I have some stories to tell if you all want to hang around for them. Probably the most interesting is how our one big happy family Superbowl party went. I'll skip the details and head to the higlights. ExH was playing poker with the guys when I walked in. When he was done I joked with him and OWW about who the single guys were. He tells me when I walked in the guys asked "who is that? is she single?" and Ex tells them "yup, that's my ex wife!!!" he retells this story to me and it was so weird. It was like he was bragging about it. Yes, arse, and you traded me in for THAT. OWW thinks she is my best buddy, sitting with me and talking to me and kissing me goodbye. Kind of makes me throw-up in my mouth a little.
I observed their interactions. My ex basically plays his game on the phone the whole time. They sat next to eachtoher on the couch, he plays his game, she flips through her phone and she tried to be affectionate with him. They have never done that in front of me before, but she kept trying to touch his leg, or put her arm around him, but he is oblivious and does not reciprocate. He used to be very into physical touch. A hand holder, a cuddler, a hugger and a kisser. I guess he grew out of that. There was one point where D10 was sitting between them on the couch and OWW was getting all cuddly with her, and I wasn't the easiest to watch.
If you are still with me, now to the FF situation. I know I should have not thought twice about the drunken reach outs. But they got in my head, and in my dreams. I came to realize he also sought me out on IG where he had unfollowed me and made his account private. I hadn't been on in a long time and all of a sudden I found that someone started following me again. SO I requested to follow back! I also left him a message. Shouldn't have, as I saw he went and blocked me on Sanpchat.
The message read " I see you have a think for drunk messaging me and regretting it in the morning, and even this time went so far as to contact my friend. If you legit need a friend to talk to, unblock my number on text and reach out that way. Otherwise if you are playing games, I am simply too old for them (pun sort of intended)." I confess to using his nickname I had for him (well, it's his firehouse nickname I adopted).
So, of course, he goes and unfollows me and blocks me there too. I am sort of glad. I don't know what his weirdo deal is. Maybe because it's been a year since our first date when we began our short and sweet R. Maybe he was just so drunk and having a hard time with the loss in his family, he did something stupid and regretted it. I don't know. It makes me feel crappy when he reaches out and has such regret. I'd rather never hear from him again, and hopefully I won't. And next time, I will not respond. There is nothing to be gained from it.
I'm pretty tired and emotionally drained today. All the people who chose someone else I have been exposed to over the weekend and it kind of wears one out.
