Living in the Present, only Looking Forward

[Coconut]

The next time I meet a woman that doesn't resemble her pictures, She's buying me drinks until she does...

Ok, so a little update on this ongoing saga I call life. Witty and I had been communicating and I knew that I was building, actually we were building, a fantasy person in our minds because we communicated so well, both playing of each others sarcasm and wit; so I told her we need to meet IRL, I didn't want to create a fantasy person that could never be lived up to. So we met Friday night, like I said I had seen pics of her on facebook, we aren't friends on FB so I could only see a few profile pics, plus a few pics that she text me, and she looked very attractive in them all.

We had decided to meet at a park near her house that is between a lake and main street, it has a gazebo and would allow us a quite place to chat. I got there first and there was no one else at the park, so I waited for her. When she got there, I didn't recognize her at all, if it wasn't for the fact that there was no one else utilizing the park, I wouldn't of even considered that it was her.

I understand wanting to use pics of you that are the most flattering, but I had no idea the "changes" that snapchat pics made other than adding flowers, halo's, etc. I'm not trying to be mean, but I just feel like if your going to share pics with someone you've never met, they should at least resemble you a little.

I had reiterated to her before we met that I also did not want anything more than friends with her, that I did not want to be involved with someone who is married. I was however hoping that when we met I would have some physical attraction to her because it makes hanging out a little more fun.

So we talked for awhile, it was not fluid at all, for me it was very awkward because I had a hard time getting past how different she looked from her pics and what I had imagined in my head. During our talk, she opened up about her life, I mean poor woman has had a tough life, child hood abuse, phy. abuse by her first husband, cheated on by her recent ex, a child with some psychological issues, etc. I pretty much clamed up, I was uncomfortable and ended up leaving after about an hour.

So after I left, I was struggling. I think as a good guy, I naturally want to rescue, and while I can recognize that and choose not to go down that path, I had a difficult time figuring out how to handle everything because I didn't / don't want to be mean either. I'm still struggling on how I will move forward, to be honest I feel a little deceived; so since Friday our communication has been limited to a few texts here and there.

I didn't do much Saturday due to it being really cold and a little rainy (and I was a little down about my meet Fri. night), so I did some stuff around the house to start getting ready to move in April (my lease ends April 30), and did a lot of binge watching Netflix.

Sunday was again cold and rainy, and started out much like Saturday was, but I didn't want to waste an entire weekend so I went onto Meetup to see if there were any super bowl get togethers. Turns out that a group I've been trying to meet up with (board and card game playing) was getting together to play some games and watch the football game. So I RSVP'd, went to the store for supplies and made some meatballs to bring with me.

When I drove up to the house it was at, I was pretty anxious, but I didn't allow myself to chicken out and went in. There were about 20 people there who all obviously knew each other well, and I am not going to lie, I was pretty freaking anxious. I just tried to settle down as best as I could, they were all friendly and I started to feel comfortable pretty quickly.

A few of us soon started playing a couple of games, they were helping me learn the games (which I picked up pretty quick)and then we just started playing. Laughing, joking, debating, it was just awesome... For the first time in a year, I was having fun adult interaction in my new hometown.

It didn't take long to realize that this is what I'm missing in my life, not a relationship.