((Coly23)) - Congrats on the redecorating and making the house into more of a home for you.
I would suggest that your H is indeed just clueless and doesn't comprehend that your reality is different than his.
I'd like to suggest though that you perhaps have your dad or someone else you trust be there and go through the stuff with him rather than doing it yourself if you do the division that way.
My ex is seeing another man and has made it clear that she prefers him to me, but even seeing her out the window last night when she dropped off S23 gave me a pang. I don't think I could cope even now with being in the same room dividing up stuff. I did struggle a bit yesterday because when cleaning the kitchen I noticed on the bottom of the paper-towel holder that it was marked as a gift her from her mother who died last week. I haven't decided yet what to do with it. She's been through the house about 4 times, and this item was still left. In fact she still had her house key until the last visit when she gave it to S23. Was she having difficulty letting go? Was she just thoughtless? I'll never know.
My own opinion, is that our former partners chose to leave and have both been gone for about the same amount of time albeit under slightly different circumstances. If the objects they left behind were important to them, they would have come for them. I boxed up things for my ex and made the choices about what would go / stay. Since it was in boxes she had little choice in what she took and in the note I sent her I told her that the boxes contained "things I didn't want in a life without her". As part of the separation agreement, and much to the surprise I believe of my ex and the lawyers, I suggested she have one last supervised trip through the house to take things I might not have boxed. She took very little and it was mostly items that I was going to donate to a charity.
I would suggest you do something similar, make the choices about what stays / goes independently. If it mattered to him, he would have gotten the items a year ago.
Just my thoughts - you'll need to walk your own path on this, but try to make sure that it's a path that you feel strong enough to be on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
