Like a question that I already knew, your advice hit me and had me feeling silly.
I ended up messaging her back, the next day. I was confident and secure. This in itself if off the norm for us. I am always the one to respond. 90% of the time our talk end with ME responding and her stopping it. So something simple like this is different for both of us. And even though I come equipped with knowledge from reading and great advice for you on here...it still feels really weird, and just, off. I guess its the'180' sort of thing. Where if you don't do the norm, you're doing it right.
So today is about day 3 or 4 since gritting my teeth, finishing DR and deciding that I had to do a 180 for my best chance of saving my family.
Today was her 1 of 2 days off, so she came and grabbed the kids in the morning. She looked incredibly tired. I could tell. She was here for about 20 minutes, but we didnt really get into a solid conversation. Just small talk back and forth about her work really.
After she left with the kids, a few hours later, she text me telling me about how my oldest S laid on W new mattress and said "wow, I'd rather sleep on the floor Mom". I just made small talk back. <<<< Why does she bring things like this up. Like about how her new hours is terrible, and living conditions are so bad???? She put herself there, right?!?
Anyways, later in the night, she messaged me again about some small details with the kids and school, some logistical stuff. She ended it with saying that she would go to the store to get some materials for our son's school work. I could have responded with something like, "Okay" or "Great, thank you", but I didn't. I dint respond at all after she told me how she was going to handle the issue.
About 4 hours later she messaged me and said "OKay cool." "I guess we're done texting too".
I'm assuming she wrote this, because I HAVE ALWAYS Been the one to write back. Always. And I thought that since this is the first time in a decade that I left HER hanging...this is her getting agitated...
Anyways I wanted to ask a question that I think has some value to a lot of DB's her...
******* If you decide to 180, or go dark, or make any significant change.... What is your response when your spouse calls you out on acting differently???
You want to answer the question, but you don't want to 'show your cards'...
What do you all think?
Thanks to all that has contributed on here. Weather you know it or not, you've seriously helped someones life and aided them in atleast sleeping for the night. So thank you.
