Quick question: My wife hasn't seen me in weeks, how is she supposed to notice the changes I'm making? I know I'm making them for myself and I do feel better for it, but I would like for her to have a chance to see them.
Very common question! Here's the part you won't like: if she believes for even a second that you are making these changes *for* her it will set you back.
Why? Because (1) she'll believe it's a tactic to get her back and the minute she does come back you'll revert to whatever you were doing before and/or (2) she'll resent you because if you had made these changes *before* she wouldn't have gone through all that grief and been forced to leave, and now, only after she leaves do you take action.
So the key is that you cannot peacock your changes at all. Not even a little bit. If you're not doing it for yourself, then it's not believable. If you're doing it for yourself, you don't care who's looking.
Make sense?
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
