Jim, it is really helpful to know that others have experienced the same feelings. It happened again today at the beach. My daughter and I were literally the only ones who were not a husband / wife or boyfriend / girlfriend couple aside from a few teenage girls. I can't wait to at least get out of this city where everyone lives what appears to be a perfect married life. At least in big major cities there's more diversity. Regarding my husband coming back, that's too much of a dream-come-true to imagine such an option, but no, I definitely wouldn't take him back like before. I'm moving to our old city and if he wants to follow when he gets a job there and meet for weekly counseling and try a few dates or family outings then we could see what happens. Even then there'd have to be a commitment to long-term therapy and on my end it would be more of a business deal if we got back together. That might include the security of keeping our family together, the financial stability of two incomes, and at least some semblance of a husband. There'll never be the love and trust that there was in the beginning, not after knowing everything I know now.
Sara, documenting is easy because he basically stopped coming the third week of December. The visits that do happen are only around 15 minutes one or two times per week. I live in FL. I'm not sure about state alimony laws but he will be paying at least temporary alimony. I'm not unnecessarily worried about the financial part because almost everything works in my favor regarding this divorce. My husband won't have a choice. My husband stayed at home for over five years studying for the USLME's while I worked full-time before he got a residency, I sponsored him to immigrate here, I've done 100% of child-care while working multiple consulting jobs...now my husband is making good money and I'm not. So at least this is one positive.
All, tonight my husband stopped by to see our daughter for the usual 15 minutes. On the way out he said he'll stop by tomorrow so "we can talk about everything." For the first time in over a month he didn't have that angry hostile tone to his voice. I asked him if he found a lawyer yet and he said no but he heard about one. I asked "aren't you excited to move on with the process?" He said no, not really. I asked if everything's good on his end regarding our move up North on April 1st. He said yes but it's going to be very stressful for him not seeing our daughter, that he needs to figure out where he's going to live, and he's so busy and so tired...
It was the first time in over a month that my husband said a few conversational words to me. It was the first time that he sounded semi-normal. That's not to say anything has changed regarding the divorce but perhaps reality is setting in and it's not the happy fantasy my husband has been living this past month where all his problems will be solved the second he gets divorced. Perhaps he's waking up just a little. I don't expect him to call off the divorce because now that he tasted his freedom and the fun of having a 26 year old girlfriend there's no way he'd come back any time soon.
