Focus only on yourself and your kids. It takes a while (months) once they dropped the OW/OM to be able to see an improvement (if any) in the situation (not seeing you as the person responsible to make their life so miserable). So try to keep your expectation down to nothing, I went through so many "high" before dropping to so minus 100 after he dropped OW2. Detachment is tough but it's a life saver, fake it until it comes ...
Even now, while he is talking about our future, I stay very cautious inside my mind. What you went though will change you, because at one point when the situation calms down, the anger will start to rise... out of nowhere like a tsunami from time to time.
Somehow they need to process what they went through and realize that their actions were their own decisions and de facto stop blaming you for them. Be ready for some depression/withdraw/and other crazy reactions from her, she might try to make you react with some nasty words/comments, for once again to justify what she did. Don't take the bait, stay calm and leave the room. Don't give her anything to chew on!
Set up your boundaries and expectations, live your live, enjoy your kids and friends.
Me 52+ WH 57+ Married 20 + Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
