Holding, thanks, that's a good idea. I'll try asking the local divorce group if I can meet with someone for the next few weeks until I hopefully move.
Coconut, I did try Dramamine one night but was dizzy in the morning. I can't take much because I have something called chronic gastritis but the past two nights I did sleep. I was almost hallucinating two nights ago and finally fell asleep. The main challenge is my daughter is wide awake at 6:00 AM so I can't sleep in. The only option is to go to bed when she does to get a full night of sleep which means no personal time to do anything else!
Jim, thanks. I am trying to fake it when I go out with my daughter because this is not her fault and she needs to feel like she has a normal life. I took her to a festival yesterday and everything was fine until there was dancing and seeing all the happy couples was really hard. At home it's harder because it's just my daughter and all alone, all day every day. Just the complete loneliness and isolation makes it hard to fake anything but I'm trying to keep going. Normally we'd go out more, but I can't afford for us to get the flu because there's no one to help my daughter and I if we get sick.
My husband didn't do anything regarding the divorce this past week. He only came once for 10 minutes to say hi to our daughter. He called last night to say he's not coming because he's too tired. I know the truth is that he's out with his new girlfriend every night having the time of his life. On one hand I want to intervene and force him to see his daughter, but on the other hand if he's just going to act miserable with her and keep thinking of his girlfriend I'd rather him just not come.
I just hope we can move on April 1st as I've been planning. And I wish to survive the divorce process. I immediately feel panicked whenever I think about facing my husband trying to fight for financial support knowing he just wants us to disappear so he can live his fantasy life with his girlfriend.
AT the same time, I remember now how this progressed exactly the same way two years ago when my husband left the first time. He stopped spending time with our daughter, stopped talking to me, started acting angry and saying he's miserable with me. Everything is the same except now he wants a divorce, but when the affair ended he was sorry and started acting normal again. I just wish in six or twelve months when the initial excitement of this relationship wears off my husband will at least start to see his daughter again and not be so angry at me. I wish we could delay the divorce until he's in a more normal state of mind. This wreckless lunatic who goes and wastes $8,000 on a spontaneous week to Dubai with his girlfriend and forgets he has a beautiful three year old daughter is not the man I married. I know the divorce will be terrible if we have to do it right now, but if that's what he wants then there's no choice because I can't force him to stay.
