New LBS dealing with WW (Part 5)

[Joe2017]

Surfer:
Thanks for the article. My W never had any serious issues like she does now until BD. Then all of a sudden, she WAS ACTING LIKE A NARCISSIST! I have no idea where all of this inflated self-value came from, it's like she is doing mental acrobatics to maximize her value and minimize my value as a MAN and as a HUMAN. Maybe to justify her inhumane treatment of me. Maybe to justify how awful she has become. Maybe because she is coping with devolving into a horrible human being.

She is now the complete opposite of the person I married.

It's awful, but I've learned the rules of the game. That's why I have stayed NC for weeks except for business. I don't have time for her BS anymore. I have my OWN PROBLEMS now, and you know what? I'm GLAD. They're MINE. I am my own person with my own problems and my own solutions.

I don't have time to worry about her finances. I don't have time to worry about her health. I don't have time to worry about her car. I don't have time to worry about her life, because she threw me OUT of her life. Unceremoniously, cruelly, and without remorse.

She blows up my phone each day. Every day she tries to get my on the phone. Calling me. Asking me to call her. Telling me she has important things to say. No, these are only things that are important TO HER. Not me. Maybe they involve my property, but property is a small price to pay for my safety and sanity.

I am doing everything I promised. Giving her what she wants out of the D. Selling the house. Moving out. These have been my final acts of love in our MR. She should be happy but she's not. She's miserable. Nothing is enough for WW.

But you know, it's not my problem anymore.

I can't believe it's been only three months. It feels like years.

I feel like I have made progress. I only break down a few times a week now. I listened to the RADIO TODAY!!!! Wow I could not do that... every song reminded me of our MR. I saw a picture of her on my phone and I was OK... I didn't fall apart. I have been able to feel warmth for my kid again. I'm planning my future.

Small progress, but I'm getting there.

This is not how I envisioned my MR, or even my DB/LRT/180/GAL. I had hoped beyond hope that we could recon and move on. But I can't do it alone, and she is still way lost in the fog. I'm so saddened by it, but I can't do anything to solve the problems. It's like she's mentally ill now, and she will never agree that anything is wrong with her so I can't fix this MR.

I have to move on. Maybe she will come around. Maybe she won't. Only time will tell.

Thanks for the support everyone. You are all amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experiences with us all. You're lifesavers.

Maybe one day I will be able to repay the kindness and compassion you have all shown me.