Her may, congrats on quiting smoking! It is a habit I have never picked up but I heard quiting is extremely difficult. I have also heard that when people quit they gain a bunch of weight.
Thanks man! Yeah it is a tough habit to kick, but a couple of weeks out you wonder why you ever did it. But it's tough to get to a mental place where you can successfully quit. I probably had at least a couple of dozen failed attempts before this one. I did put on a few pounds, but I gave myself permission to just eat whatever (within reason) and not worry about meeting my diet plans for the first week of quitting smoking.
I just picked up a skipping rope and cardio training starts on Monday with the strength work out.
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My W and I have been in that pattern for quite some time. Brief interaction at kid exchanges and sometimes none at all during the week. I did question myself from time to time if I am doing the right things and maybe should I reach out more but when I thought about BD and everything that she told me it stopped me in my tracks
I read what you wrote about the pursuit and distance on your thread. I think it's to give the LBS a serious break to gain some mental and emotional sanity. Also you've already put yourself out there and she's said no. It's not any different few months down the line. That's why it's all about the LBS to get some space and strength back.
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The sad reality IMO is that the longer the separation goes on and everyone gets used to their new life the chance of RECON becomes less. Everyone gets adjusted to this new way of life and things just sort of happen.
Yeah true. I was reading Sandi talk about the WW feeling loss and how it's a huge part of this process for them to even think about turning around. You'd think that they would feel the loss the same way we do - less time with kids, financial concerns, no partner etc. But they don't and for them the loss will be something else and come on their timeline. So, best to just let go and drop the rope.
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I definitely don't want to rely on anyone for anything however I also know I don't want to live my life being jaded, scared to love again and fearful of opening up and being vulnerable in another R.
True true. I think I am just in self-preservation mode and I've had a reality check about what it means to trust and be able to rely on someone. This has completely shattered all illusions and I know that I am here by myself and have to make things happen. Even if I get in a R, I have to be responsible for my own goals and happiness and I will never outsource any of that to someone else.
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Either way it sounds like you are truly on the path to change in all aspects of your life. It is also great to see that your post is more about you than recon with your W. Either way you have won my friend.
I feel like I've hit a new level of detachment and I can really feel it in how I am so emotionally removed from W and what she does. I am in this really hungry mode where I want to attack this world and get what's mine and make my space and mark known.
Thanks Subitai for your comment. Yeh, quitting is such a beast but once it's done, it's like a new world has opened up. I am enjoying it.
