Hoping this can be saved, but having doubts

[Holding]

Reframe, I just got caught up on your sitch. Sorry you're here, but we'll try to help.

I hope Benito and JoeJoe can stop by. I think they can give you some good advice as well. Both guys managed to recon their M's. Benito especially was in a similar sitch - he thought his M was done for, his W moved out (no kids), and he started on SLOW and STEADY improvement for himself. She got curious and he took his time on slowly getting her to see the new person he'd become. Here's the thing though, he did have to become a new person.

This reminds me a little of my sitch in the beginning, where D wasn't mentioned after BD, but it was like a sword hanging over my head. My XW would always talk about "leaving", but it was never "D". Until it was, a few months later. I felt so much pressure to fix things, it was awful and messed me up big time. I wanted a quick fix, and there wasn't one.

The fact that she gets so irritated by your smallest slip up tells me she's starting to justify to herself why she wants to D. I don't say that to discourage you, but to let you know where she might be at. But let's not get into mind-reading, which leads me to...

I REALLY encourage you to get some physical distance between you and your W. In-house separation has a very poor track record (I went through 7 miserable months of it). Since you have no kids, you really don't risk anything by separating. The time apart makes all the difference, it will clear your mind and make your GAL much more effective. It's true she won't see your 180s as much if you're separated, but the upside is much bigger - your 180s appear bigger when she does see you, and she won't see your slip ups to justify her feelings. Not seeing you may also make her WONDER about you, which is a good thing.

SLOW and STEADY.