Her may, congrats on quiting smoking! It is a habit I have never picked up but I heard quiting is extremely difficult. I have also heard that when people quit they gain a bunch of weight. Hopefully you can lay off those home cooked meals!
I am happy to see that you are progressing and growing as a person. It is also awesome that you are doing it for yourself and not some ploy to attract your W back.
My W and I have been in that pattern for quite some time. Brief interaction at kid exchanges and sometimes none at all during the week. I did question myself from time to time if I am doing the right things and maybe should I reach out more but when I thought about BD and everything that she told me it stopped me in my tracks.
The sad reality IMO is that the longer the separation goes on and everyone gets used to their new life the chance of RECON becomes less. Everyone gets adjusted to this new way of life and things just sort of happen.
I definitely don't want to rely on anyone for anything however I also know I don't want to live my life being jaded, scared to love again and fearful of opening up and being vulnerable in another R. I need to figure out how to strike that balance so I am not in a constant mode of detachment with 1 foot always out the door. Maybe being that way is part of the attraction????
Either way it sounds like you are truly on the path to change in all aspects of your life. It is also great to see that your post is more about you than recon with your W. Either way you have won my friend.
