WW, A ended, but struggling to reconnect (My 11th)

[hoosjim]

Jim, whatever happened with last Friday when W's BFF was supposed to join y'all?

Mostly uneventful. W had sort of insinuated without asking directly that she would like to invite bff and i had sort of insinuated that we all knew the score and were adults and it was up to her. I figured bff would decline. She (bff) sorta kinda called my bluff. When texted me that I could come pick her up to go out from restaurant she was at with bff, I ubered over to get her, and bff was still there. I was cordial to bff and my usual charming, witty self to W. Bff hung with us for about 15 to 20 mins and then left on her own to go home (which worried W a little because they had had a couple of drinks--I offered to call her an uber but she said "no im okay"). She (bff) even gave me hug when she left (wasn't that sweet of her? I felt like Fredo in "The Godfather" getting the hug and kiss before he got whacked.) No substantive conversation, all chitchat. Bff at one point tried to turn the convo toward her and her H's (my own bf) pending D, and I was like "nope, not talking about that!" which bff took in stride.

Rest of the evening was a fairly typical recent one for W and I-- saw a band, had a couple of drinks, lots of laughs and talking, with my arm around her loosely or legs touching under the table. The band asked us to come up and sing with them once, which was cool.

Wednesday's MC session not very noteworthy, either. MC and I both pushed the IC issue with W, MC very persuasively relating it to a lot of the things W was saying, and W seemed somewhat persuaded-- plan is to work some IC into our intensive day-long session on 2/21. W is still "all over the place" emotionally. Some days she "feels really close to me" and other days she wonders where we are going. Some days she really likes how attentive I am and our frequent communication and interaction and then other days she wonders if its just because im checking up on her and want to "know if she's there"-- she's still not used to us being so close after so many years of... not that. And her thoughts are constantly changing, she says. One day she'll have a thought and then the next day a completely different one or she'll see her yesterday thought and say "what was I thinking that doesn't make sense." She didn't elaborate but MC said that's the exact kind of thing that would be good fodder for IC. She said again it frustrates her a little when I am upset like I was last week when she was late getting back from work and had her wrong turn, or when my buttons get easily pushed when she wants to see her girlfriends, but she understands that that's on her and that she "did it to herself."