This is more than scary sh.t. Be prepared for false accusations and twists.
I am afraid going head to head with crazy isn't going to help, these nut cases are masters at it, they have been doing this all of their lives.
The only way through this is for crazy to get bored with you and your sitch. Disengage. Please note the comments on bathing, she is projecting her view on this. Ano even if D doesn't want to talk to mum, don't say so. This will make life very difficult for your D at her mums house. So something neutral such as D is currently deep in play, she is snoozing, we are travelling chat later. To deal with crazy, sometimes you have to play their game. Like a large defense player with an attacking opponent. Crazy is enjoying this exchange, so you just block. It might also be that her R isn't so rosy at the moment, so any mention of it will set her off. Plus the happy contrast will too.
In my sitch I researched techniques to deal with high conflict and two really helped BIFF (brief informed firm friendly) and Medium Chill.
So my response would have been
It is your view that I am preventing D from calling you, this isn't the case as contact with mum is important. Can we arrange a set time for calls as this will assist in scheduling?
Boring word, scheduling................
Courts love scheduling and it shows willingness to cooperate. Schedule away, and normalise around it. No big deal if it's on a schedule right? And whilst it's tough, you can lead a little, as in why don't you tell mum about school, your homework, playing out. (Ordinary, very boring things). The eggs on toast for tea.... Boring, boring, boring......
Your D should call mummy at a set time and that is OK. Even if she doesn't want to do it. Get it over with and move on. Grit teeth and grin. There is an interesting Google searches about legal stuff with kids, Google proper person as that is largely about self representation which might cut some legal bills.
Yes it sounds like complex PTSD. I have this, you are likely to have anxiety and flashbacks along with other out of control feelings. There are some posts on my threads about my experience with it. When I go back and reread it, I feel raw.
I am very frightened of the G too and often feel my life is in danger. I feel safer when he is in another country far away from me. And it's taken nearly 4 years to get him to go away and leave me alone. He still drives by the house, he still makes silent calls, he still turns up for a drink in my village pub. Still trying to limit my life. He does this when he thinks I am at my lowest ebb or if he thinks I have a bf.
Dating is a big on switch for crazy, theiron world view is that they own you and also that you are still under control.
Please stay safe.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
