Still surviving

[Surv1ve]

So, I don't snoop on H. But, EX/OM used the family computer and left his profile open and it was too god danged tempting.

What did I learn
1) EX/OM recently emailed a whole bunch of lawyers (2 days ago) on H's behalf with a cc to H's work email address
2) EX/OM still truly believes H only wants to be friends with me and never hears all of H's ambivalence.
3) one of my "friends" has been reporting details of my story to EX/OM so I obviously have to sever that relationship. I was always hesitant because it's one of our mutual friends and the details are a WHOLE LOT but also shoot.

I am almost crying with laughter that EX/OM is doing the emotional labour of finding H a new lawyer. Oh, my goodness. It's hilarious.

I am going to have to bite my tongue for the next few days not to tell EX/OM about all the ambivalent statements I hear from H. It would just spark a fire, I guess? Let H keep his little fantasy land where it's just easy and clean and simple and there are rainbow sprouting from the ground?

And, I am still feeling so incredibly FED UP that this information about H's potential new L makes me want to just greet him in the morning with the words, "When can you move out?"

And, while I am fed up and I stop reaching for H, suddenly all of his language implies we're partners. Blech. Over it.