let my W know that I'm sorry for not listening to her concerns over the last few months and that I should been more attentive. My W did mention to me once we got full custody of my son how hard everything is and that she's really struggling. Sadly, I ignored her calls for help.
Having full custody of a young child is hard for both of you -- not just her. Be careful not to assign yourself too much blame for how things unfolded.
A true apology is a statement of what you did wrong with an expression of remorse and nothing else. There can be no "but you..." or an expectation that it will lead to anything.
I suggest you write out your apology and save it as a draft and don't send it. It will be cathartic for you to get your feelings out.
Sending it to her right now will be interpreted as pursuit and set you back -- now is not the time.
Originally Posted By: apothem
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
Totally agree with Amoafwl -- that quote is an excuse to justify your desire to pursue. You could say the same thing about attempting to run across the freeway but chances are you'll get run over.
The difficult action here is to give your W space! That is the hard thing to do because you have to actively resist your impulses every day. Stick at it -- that's the best path back.
Your mom is right, I'm sure both of you would appreciate apologies for wrongs both real and perceived but there is no hurry and it will not lead to reconciliation.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
