I agree about not being ready to apologize to her yet, that is still quite far away I think. She still needs time to work on herself and process things.
Do you see the issue here?
Why does SHE need to do anything for you to determine whether or not to apologize. That only matters if you are expecting something from her. From this, it shows YOU are not ready yet...not her. Youre only saying you are sorry in the hopes that it sparks something in her. You arent talking about apologizing because it is part of YOUR healing process.
Originally Posted By: apothem
As far as doing it one time with no expectations I can handle that, despite the fact it would hurt if it did nothing, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
If you have no expectations, then it wont hurt. Like I said, its like sending off a message in a bottle from a desert island - you may have a desired outcome, but you cant be upset if it doesnt work.
As for your basketball analogy, I have one for you. You can absolutely walk down the court and fire up a 35 footer with 20 seconds on the shot clock. And theres a chance that you make it. But wouldnt you rather 'take your shot' after working the ball into the best position to score?
Right now, youre not 'doing nothing'. You are choosing to give your W some space and some time. I hope that you are using this time to work on you instead of just focusing on her!
