H, still not final. Trying to figure out out some financial stuff. Was accused of dragging it out because "I don't want a divorce" is what my L was told. I assured her I wanted this over. I have finally started to drop my anger toward what my W has done to my family and doubled down on myself and my kids, not having her in the house has really sped this process up. My D11 and S13 seem to be struggling with the new normal, S13 has times when he looks depressed and and keeps to himself which for him is not his character. D11 has been very clingy to me lately and has adopted the roll of mom in both houses, I am constantly talking with her to let her know that it's not her roll and that I can handle everything. They both constantly ask if I'm doing ok, I thank them for caring about me but tell them everything is fine.
S17 has been staying at XW house but not all the time, he's kind of on his own schedule, XW did attempt to tell him that he has to stay at her house(per schedule) and sort of blamed me which seems to be her new normal as all of this seems to be my fault. I will say that thankfully my kids grades have improved! D11 and S13 finished the semester with straight A's and S17 finished with A's and B's! So proud of them!!
GAL is going good, still down 65lbs but starting to bulk up a bit(got a trip to the Caribbean in two months) Going to the gym 5/6 days a week, started another Divorce Care session, still seeing my IC, tons of little projects on the house and starting to map out my summer trips with and without my kids. I'm going to invest in a good cyclecross bike and start putting on some miles, love riding for fitness, helps my body and clears my mind! Helps me learn how to be by myself and not depend on anyone.
I have finally excepted my role into the demise of our M, there were issues I've swept under the rug over the years and I'm sure she did as well. I needed to make changes to me, just wish she would have given me the chance before she went down the path she did, that does not give her the right to be wayward but I do see my share of the fault. Live and learn I guess, It will all work out!!
