Thanks ginger and amoafwl. I'm trying really hard to do the right thing for D, but we've been doing it for a year so it's pretty entrenched. Ginger is right in that I'm trying so damn hard to do the right thing at all costs.
There's also this: Tennessee law includes "The right to unimpeded telephone conversations with the child at least twice a week at reasonable times and for reasonable durations" so I guess I need some legal advice here.
I do truly believe that you are trying to do the right thing for D. But I think you are also trying to do whatever keeps exW peaceful and for her to not spew at you so you don't feel bad when she calls you a bad father or something.
Do the right thing for D. Not the right thing for exW.