Gordie #17: deliberately not divorced

[Gordie]

DnJ—Thanks, definitely hanging in here. I do feel more hopeful about my situation than I have in many months. Your note reminding me that many here wish their spouses would do what my w did—drop their OM/OW and drop their D complaints—reminded me of that. However, my expectations were off. I thought like sandi2 or txhubby said, this would come along with great remorse and begging to do anything to make this work. Instead it’s just this “D is not in my self interest”—still cold and selfish.

SJohn6–Yes, one of my sons has been quite adamant that I stay. He like others here thinks w should move it if she wants space, but she won’t. W was a SAHM and the primary parent for many years. I have stepped up my game big time to be the dad I should have always been. This is Gordie 2.0 which is better for all and my coach asked me a lot of hard questions about what would be best for the kids.

Butterfly—a million thank you s. When you wrote that, I called to set up the appointment. It’s exactly what I needed. Coach had actually warned me that my “master of brinksmanship” may be the type of drop the d at the last minute and that’s exactly what she did.