Thanks for that insight, V. That makes sense to me and I will work on not doing that.
So, tonight was a bit of a disaster, and I feel bad about it. I asked D if she wanted to call her mom tonight and she said yes. So right before bed, I called and handed her the phone and she changed her mind, saying she didn't want to talk. XW answers the phone right then, and I tell D just to tell mommy she loves her and to say goodnight and D did just that. XW did NOT take that well. She got angry and sarcastic, telling D she hadn't talked to her that day (she did in the morning, D was happy to talk then) and she HAD to talk to her. I tried to explain she wasn't in the mood to talk and wanted to go to bed, but XW was not having it.
I told D I'd be back in five minutes and left the room. She followed me and left the phone on her bed. XW was pretty upset. She sent me a text, "What is she doing???!!!!" D basically shut down, didn't want to talk, and I tried and failed to get XW to see that. I tried to be encouraging, D wasn't having it. She kept trying to get off the phone and her mom simply wouldn't let her. I admit I was completely at a loss here, I should have just hung the damn phone up but didn't. I eventually got D to say goodnight and I love you to XW. She was enthusiastic and happy, and XW said "well, you really do sound tired" and hung up on her. D called her back and I think got sent to voicemail. She was pretty upset about it.
So I screwed up. I said I wasn't going to make D talk to XW, and I did just that tonight. And the results were shitty.
And then, just to add some icing on the cake, I get this text: "Let me guess! You got her a new toy!? Bc that seems to be the only time she ignores me that and you letting her play with toys right before bed. You know you really ain't very good at this coparenting thing. You don't even answer text when it's about her. You sure don't care if she talks to me or when she talks to me. And you tell her to say goodbye as soon as she calls me... what did you think she was gonna think!?"
I wanted to respond, but I'm just not going to do it anymore. There's nothing I can say that's ever going to get through.
