So I can't forgo child support and I assume he can't get out of it with his earnings.
I'm not so sure this is true - I thought there was no child support if you split the time 50:50? And I'm assuming that's why he wants so much custody. Spousal support on the other hand will be based on the difference between your incomes and the duration of the marriage. He won't be able to claim the marriage ended in 2015 when you still lived together and shared finances. (haha - if the end of the marriage was determined by when sex stopped then LOTS of people would be unmarried!)
Also - remember you want to make sure the duration of the marriage is at least 10 years, that's the magic number for being able to collect social security based on half of his benefit instead of all of yours if 1/2 of his is more.
