I understand your fear. I'm going to tell you a personal tidbit in relation to what your fears are.
In my M, I lived completely scared doing or saying the wrong thing. That I would make the wrong choice and he would run away or leave.
When he finally did, I realized if that was the outcome of me doing what is best for me, it doesn't mean I made the wrong choice.
I always knew in my heart of hearts from when I began dating him that if I stood up for myself, or made a choice that was in my best interest, he would probably leave. And he proved that to be true.
But is that love? Is that marriage? For them to only stick around if everything is on their terms? finding out the truth can be scary as he!!. If your W is truly in this, she will be all for doing this with you leaving the house and with compromises. I understand it is scary finding out that might not be how it is. But that doesn't mean it was the wrong choice.
This may be a bad example, being as I have only need in short term R's since my D, but I have learned that people don't run away if they meant to be here. That I can be honest about my needs. And if someone can just say "nah, nevermind" and walk away because there was no compromise, well, then they really didn't care enough did they? And I found that out in post D dating too. I want the person who believes I am worth compromise and staying. You should too, because you are worth it too.
