Newbie In Need Of Guidance

[Subitai]

I know you're trying to protect them and their relationship with their mom. I was just warning to swing the pendulum to neutral and be careful of it swinging too far the other way. You weren't way over on your W's side, there, but excusing her actions may make the kids feel like they're not being heard, and they really need to be heard by you right now. They need you more now than they probably ever will again in their lives, so make sure it's about them, their feelings, and their experiences, not about your W when they want to talk.

Validating can easily turn into agreeing with their feelings, which can sneak into alienation, which is why I had a warning about that.

Keep up the good work you're doing, and perfect and correct as you go along. That's about all any of us can do.