{{{{{{{Gordie}}}}}}}
I get being scared. Believe me. I don't think I breathed until after our D was finalized, and that was 20 months post BD. Then I promptly got sick and stayed sick for almost 6 months. DON'T DO THAT.

You're getting great advice. I will only say this: my new year's intention was that by Dec 31st, 2018 I want to look back at all the decisions I've made this year and have the bulk of them being made from a place of love not fear.

I share that in case it resonates with you. Take a deep breath, and please schedule something with your DB coach.

xoxoxo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver