That is why it is an easy inclination to want to hear stories of those at this juncture find success!!!!!!
In the homework I gave you, the resources link has Mozza's success stories which will get you started at some of the stories here. Their are others too.
It just hurts because it makes it so real and the human hopelessness sets in. That is why it is an easy inclination to want to hear stories of those at this juncture find success!!!!!!
I agree with Cadet. Its hard and it hurts and it just [censored] all around.
That said, how would your life be different right now if the divorce went through instantaneously. Like, what in your actual day-to-day life would be different.
The way I see it, right now, it's just a matter of filing your relationship status to the government. Frankly, it doesnt really change much for how you will live your life.
Its sad and the symbology of it is painful. But youll get through it! And it DOES get better!
Thank you for your support. I hope it does and the hard part is having hope simultaneously when filling out the necessary paperwork. How do you do that?
Thank you for your support. I hope it does and the hard part is having hope simultaneously when filling out the necessary paperwork. How do you do that?
Treat the paperwork as a business deal. Take the emotion out of it and just get the best deal you can.
Another question I had was about DBing itself. I know that DBing helps focus on yourself and build self esteem. A lot here have said that it is not about reconciliation.
I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I miss H and our family together. We were at my D9 dance performance last night and Tried to remain upbeat. I was laughing with my friends and he sat next to our other D's. The grieving is hardest at night. I still really love him and I do not want to lose our family. I begin to detach and then get scared. I want this all to stop. I want him to stop!!
Another question I had was about DBing itself. I know that DBing helps focus on yourself and build self esteem. A lot here have said that it is not about reconciliation.
What exactly is your question?
My opinion is this. You ultimately have no control over with you reconcile or not. I feel like judging your success based on that is a fool's errand. If you take this time and opportunity to become an incredible woman and mother and friend and partner, why should you feel bad about it because H is an idiot?
So, yes, this site is focused on rebuilding the LBS that comes here, because that is what you have control over!
And remember this....it also happens to be the best chance that you have for reconciling anyway. It's like:
So, we focus on step 1 and step 2 because if you jump to step 3, you are in line for future failure anyway. While doing that, the rules and guidelines are there to help you keep the path for step 3 clear.
I know that it stinks now. Its ok to be sad. Try your best to keep your chin up and your eyes on the road ahead of you.
What do you mean by the above statement? Detachment is what you are trying to obtain so do not be afraid of it.
Unfortunately there are no quick fixes when the sitches get this far in the process. I always say that right now you can't make things better right now but you can certainly make them worse.
If you follow Sandi's rules things will get better for you in the future. These sitches usually take months/years to unfold.
Are you exercising and getting out with family and friends?
Thank you. You seem to really have a handle on it and I guess I am still in shock due to signing the documents yesterday. The only person I can really control is myself. You are right there are no quick fixes and DBing is about finding ourselves in the midst of this uncontrollable chaos.
Hi. I started exercising again but some days are so hard. I am in graduate school and that takes up a lot of my time as well. I have great friends you allow me to just be. I have made much improvement as far as being upbeat when he is around and filling my calendar with activities. What do you guys do when the WAS is around and just hanging with the kids? Do you start conversations or do you just go about your day as if they were not there?
