it seems that your XW equates unquestioned obedience with love and respect... she demands it from your daughter, and she demands it from you... your sweet little girl just wanted to enjoy her evening with a luxury bath, and simply did not feel like talking with her momma... sometimes we forget that children are full-fledge people with people feelings, people emotions, people wants... even in co-parenting, XW puts her desires first, and not what is best for your daughter... she even expects daughter to say ILY in a specific way... by being overly controlling, she's exacting the opposite of what she really wants... i am sure you are saving the hysterical (not in a funny way) texts from her... someone suggested you record your dealings with XW... i think that's a good idea... that she purposely waited for you and GF to drive by without a good reason is odd, peculiar... weird...
